My big bottom | You're not from round here.

Thursday, 7 March 2013

My big bottom

Picture the scene, if you will, but don't picture it too well, if you know what I mean. I am sitting on the toilet in our cramped downstairs loo. I have been sitting there for approximately 5 seconds. I am alone. Then, I hear a patter of small feet approaching at speed. My three year old son opens the door and stands next to the toilet, in the doorway.

"Mummy"
"Yes darling"
"Mummy, are you doing a wee or a poo?"
"A poo, precious"
"Poos come out of your bottom"
"Yes. Yes they do"
"And wees come out of willies"
"Well, some do. But mine doesn't because I am a girl and girls don't have willies"
A considered pause.
"I have a willy mummy" 
He thoughtfully pulls his pants down to show me the evidence of this fact.
"Look, see mummy. That's my willy."
"Yes it is"
"Mummy"
"Yes darling"
"Mummy, you have a big bottom"
"It is bigger than yours, yes"
"And your bottom moves when I touch it"
"Yes"
"Does my bottom move when I touch it?"
He hits himself on the bottom.
"No. Mine doesn't. It's just yours that does mummy".




+If you want more of a giggle, check out the other posts who are linking up to wot so funnee here.


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