What if they are gay? | You're not from round here.

Friday, 10 May 2013

What if they are gay?

As I have alluded to before, I have occasionally come across some very narrow-minded views. However, I was shocked when, at a toddler group the other week, I overheard two mums discussing what they would do if their children were gay. They were both speaking so negatively about it, suggesting their partners wouldn't be happy if their son or daughter were gay.

It got me thinking about the subject and I am glad to say that it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if either of my children are homosexual. I firmly believe that if they are, then they already are. There is nothing I could do, as one of the mums suggested, to 'change' whether or not they were gay. I don't see why, as their mother, their sexuality would makes a difference to how I feel about them. The insinuation was that they would somehow be disappointed with their children, which, to me, is nonsense!

Perhaps the mums were more concerned about other people's opinions. I never have been, about anything really, so I don't see why that would change. I guess I would possibly be more protective of my children, trying to shield them from other people's small mindedness. I am sure that if I thought about all the things my four year old son likes; singing, dancing and musicals, I could easily label him with some idiotic preconceptions and 'write him off' as gay already. 

I don't really believe in enforcing gender stereotypes though, which is lucky, because my daughter loves rough and tumble, playing with cars and trains and my son is a more sensitive soul, whose singing and dancing is fantastic. Yes, he still plays with cars, trains and is very active, but I would make sure that if he asks to dress up in a princess dress, then I wouldn't hesitate to let him. I wonder how much our choices for our children influence the people they become and, as such, I have never pushed the idea that boys do different activities to girls or play with different toys.

In the past few weeks, I have encountered some pretty lame sexism from two different men. Both of whom suggested that my husband must be the one who bleeds a radiator or puts some shelves up. Both men were introduced to my rather bolshy side where I pointed out that I wouldn't let my husband touch my drill, or bleed a radiator. I have built walls, wardrobes and tiled a bathroom and a kitchen, but I am very practical and my husband is not. This is fine. It works for us. Neither of us follow very strict male/female roles. Yes, he has a job and I am at university so he is the breadwinner, but he also only works four days a week which means that we both look after the children one day a week and share duties over the weekend. We are very equal in our household, and I hope our children see that and realise that is how life should be.

Fundamentally though, if my children are gay, then they are gay. End of. The only thing I would do differently, is help them to learn to deal with the prejudices of others. 

What do you think? What would you do if your child(ren) were gay?

Rainbow flag, freedom flag

Picture By Ludovic Bertron from New York City, Usa [CC-BY-2.0] http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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